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Your Dream

Welcome to your personal Dream oasis: a space tailored especially for you, one that features inspired reading, words of wwhat is your dream?isdom, quick tips and fun bits to keep you smiling as you aspire to live your own dreams.

We are so happy to have you here, supporting an online community dedicated to helping women and girls live their dreams because we know all too well that in order to help others, we must take care of ourselves. You truly deserve it!

As you enjoy our site, please remember that the views expressed in the following blogs or articles aren't necessarily representative of Live Your or Soroptimist. 

Interested in having your blog featured or contributing original content for this section? We welcome guest bloggers, book excerpts and feature articles. Read all about our program here. For more, please contact us at:  

Getting rid of those nagging "should thoughts"

Take a minute to think about all of the “should thoughts” that plague your mind. People tell themselves what they should be doing all the time: "I should spend more time exercising," "I should be further along in my career," "I should have a way bigger savings account." Sound familiar?

Licensed Clinical Social Worker Ruth Feinblum writes that these "should thoughts" “create feelings of anxiety, shame or incompetence and hinder efforts at making changes that would meet their life goals.”

Here are Ruth’s recommendations for tackling “should thoughts:"

1. Identify the should thoughts: what have you been telling yourself you should be doing?

2. Identify how you feel after you have these thoughts: do you feel guilty, embarrassed, afraid?

3. Create an alternate thought that is realistic and logical. It should be a thought that acknowledges the concern and identifies an effective change that you can make.

Try this: “I wish I was [thing that is bothering you] and this is causing me to feel [negative feeling]. But I can [identify a productive action].” For example: I wish I had a bigger savings account, and this is making me feel anxious. But, I can spend $50 less on clothes this month and put that right in my savings account.

4. Every time you have the “should thought,” replace it with the alternate thought.

So instead of letting those "should thoughts" nag at you, take ownership over them and the way you think about your goals! Perhaps everyone can take advice from Carry Bradshaw in Sex in the City when she says, “As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”


Meet our guest blogger, Marisa...

Marisa Felsher

Marisa Felsher is one of The Dream Team's multi-talented, regular contributors. Her favorite things in the world are: "This American Life" podcast, mashed potatoes, and her family dog/soulmate, Myrtle. Aside from delicious side dishes, she is passionate about women's rights and women's health, and is currently pursuing a doctorate degree in Public Health in Philadelphia, PA.


Get Inspired... is an online volunteer network, a self-motivated community of people who wish to support women and girls in their quest to lead better lives, while gaining inspiration in their own lives. Sign up for more inspired reading, words of wisdom, quick tips and fun bits to keep you smiling as you aspire to live your own dreams.

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Check out other inspired reading in these sections:
Lifestyle blogs for women   career blogs for women   health blogs for women   personal finance blogs for women


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